Too old for dating

I don’t have to tell you that the only people who get to decide whether you’re enjoying each other as people are you and your dinner companion.Given the opportunity, your friends and strangers will judge you for being out with somebody who is too fat, too thin, to short, too Asian, too a stripper, whatever.One, because people who give a fuck about money are awful, and because I’ve met plenty of old, old dudes who are still doing the Somerset Maugham-y cheerful hobo routine. I like the Civil War, documentaries, and talking about whiskey as though it were a zaftig prostitute, so old guys and I get along.The only problem I’ve had with dating outside of my age range is when the other person has been too aware of it. Like, "This Cuban-Chinese restaurant is half-Latino, just like the late Emilio Estevez." Or, "I just put a dollar’s worth of O-Town songs in the jukebox.Who knew this bar would have a dollar’s worth of O-Town songs?" except for aging pageant queens and John Mellencamp. I know this because I once worked with a 42-year-old man who was skipping his daughter’s birthday because "she’ll have one every year, but you never know when they’re going to shut down Burning Man for good."True, another factor is judgment from other people, who may see a 44-year-old going to dinner with a 25-year-old and make judgments about which one of them is drowning in student loan debt.

I know many brilliant, mature people who aren’t old enough to rent a car.

This kind of culling is even easier now that dating sites let us whittle our options down to the year.

I contend that as long as nobody is being willfully creepy (I see you, guys in Ferrari hats), this kind of limitation is mega lame.

But if you’re not into someone because of the arbitrary time in which their parents created them—well, more tasty imperfect flesh for the rest of us.

Admittedly, I prefer older guys, only because they tend to be fully fused, like a human skull.

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